


Hopeless Hearts

by lossie



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Summer Camp, Coming of Age, F/M, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Gen, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Meet-Cute, Naruto is a good Bro, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Power of Frienship, Rating May Change, Romantic Comedy, Slow Burn, The Author Regrets Nothing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:35:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24633181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lossie/pseuds/lossie
Summary: When Sakura agreed to return to Camp Konoha, she didn’t expect to find closure or to fall in love. But, apparently, some people had to take a step back in order to move on.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Hatake Kakashi, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 27
Kudos: 59





	1. Week 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thekatthatbarks](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thekatthatbarks/gifts), [bouncyirwin](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=bouncyirwin).



> So, just to be clear, this story happened very randomly. I just had a craving for a Summer Camp AU, so don’t judge me. Also I’ve been listening to too much Ed Sheeran again and it apparently results in me writing the longest coming of age stories.
> 
> Please enjoy and don’t forget to leave kudos/comments :)
> 
> Special shout out to thekatthatbarks and bouncyirwin – you’re awesome and I love you!

_Day 1_

Sakura surveyed the cabin with a look of mild horror. Not that she expected the new counsellors’ quarters to be much of a step-up from what the campers got, but this was just plain depressing.

The cabin consisted of a sleeping area with eight equally old cots, each equipped with a thin mattress, an itchy woollen blanket, and a flat pillow, some with mysterious stains of undisclosed origin. There was also a sink and a mirror, both hidden behind a screen to provide some privacy, presumably for changing and a quick wash. The entire room smelled a bit stale with prominent undertones of old mouldy wood and dust, probably because the cabin has been closed for a year and nobody bothered to air it out.

Calling all of this ‘new’ was a bit of a misnomer. To think she had complained about the old ones so much made her wince. This was somehow even worse.

She dumped her bag on the nearest bed and then sat down next to it. The springs gave a loud protest to the additional weight. She could just imagine how fun it would be to get comfortable on the old lumpy thing at night without waking up the entire cabin along with half the camp.

It wasn’t like her to complain so much or to see things from such a gloomy perspective. True, she definitely had a more realistic outlook on life than most, which some people would call plain pessimism, but over the years Sakura sort of adopted Naruto’s penchant for perpetual optimism and tried her best to be more optimistic herself. It was simply too infectious to resist as Naruto was somehow able to see the silver lining on even the darkest cloud.

Still, no matter how many lies she has told herself, coming to Camp Konoha seemed like a spectacularly bad idea now that she was here and she couldn’t stop thinking that she should have said no when Naruto all but begged her to come this year.

Unfortunately, she was a sucker for his puppy eyes and she agreed to go against her better judgment.

The reality of how stupid she was to think it wasn’t going to be so bad bit her in the proverbial arse the moment she stepped out of her car and saw Uchiha Sasuke standing a few yards away, chatting with Shikamaru and Chouji. In hindsight she should have expected him to be here too. She knew from Naruto that he was a counsellor too and yet it never occurred to her that coming this summer would mean coming face to face with him, reviving the memory of what had happened during their first year as counsellors.

Kami, she had successfully avoided this place for the last three years and she was sort of convinced she had left the camp with all its drama behind for good.

Apparently, she was wrong.

It felt surreal in the worst way possible, like a disaster just waiting to happen. For the life of her she couldn’t imagine talking with the guy again and yet they would be working together for the next eight weeks.

Well, not together-together, but close enough that it was bound to be awkward and Sakura didn’t handle awkward very well at all.

With a groan she laid down, her head falling off the bed and her long ponytail swishing against the dirty floor. She stared at the dust motes dancing in the bright light filtering through the nearby window and wondered not for the first time since arriving barely half an hour ago if it was already too late to leave.

She swore coming to camp didn’t used to be so complicated. In fact, she had loved this place since childhood and some of her best memories came from the summers she spent here. She remembered coming to Camp Konoha for the first time when she was ten, a shy girl who had been bullied at school and cried at every turn. She had been terrified of all the kids and scared to be away from the comfort of her home for so long. However, it didn’t take her long to befriend Ino who in turn introduced her to Naruto and Sasuke. They have been almost inseparable ever since. Sakura still had trouble believing that those days were over.

Someone entered the cabin and Sakura turned her head to see who the newcomer was. She smiled when she saw Ino standing in the doorway with her backpack and suitcase.

“Hi there, Pig!”

Ino’s face brightened. “Sakura! Long time no see!”

“Yeah, seems like forever,” Sakura said as she stood up to hug her friend. They haven’t seen each other in over a year. Even though they Skyped pretty regularly and messaged each other on a daily basis, it wasn’t the same.

“I can’t believe you’re actually here.”

“Why?”Sakura asked a bit confused. “I told you I would come.”

“Didn’t make it any easier to believe it, Forehead,” Ino snorted. “I had to see it with my own eyes.”

Sakura laughed. “If this is your reaction, I’m kind of scared about the rest.”

“They’re gonna be fine, I’m sure. Speaking of which,” Ino said as she sat down gingerly on the cot closest to Sakura’s. “Why exactly is Uchiha Sasuke creeping outside like a, well, _creep_?”

For a moment after hearing Ino’s seemingly innocent question, Sakura just stood in front of her friend, rooted to the spot and completely lost for words.

Why indeed was Sasuke outside the cabin? She was pretty sure he hadn’t seen her when she arrived, but she was a bit too busy hightailing it out of the parking after seeing him lot to be one-hundred percent certain about it.

She ran to the window and looked out, but there was nobody there.

“You sure he was here?” She asked, a bit suspicious now that she had checked for herself.

Ino cursed and went over to take a look as well. “Really now?” She muttered mostly to herself and then turned to Sakura with an apologetic smile. ”He was there a minute ago. I swear I’m not pulling your leg or anything.”

“No, no, I believe you!” Sakura assured her, even though she kind of didn’t completely trust her friend’s words. It was a weird feeling, to doubt Ino like that. “Maybe he was called away...?”

“Maybe,” Ino agreed after a moment. Sakura could tell she was lying. “Anyway! I want to know about everything I missed! How’s college?”

Sakura was thankful for the distraction, because she really didn’t want to entertain any stupid thoughts now. She just arrived and there would be time to overthink things later, she was sure.

With a smile she launched into the story of her last semester at Suna, but the thought of Sasuke standing outside and waiting for Kami knows what didn’t leave her.

-

Forgetting about the chaos of Camp Konoha on the day before the campers come bargaining in was deceptively easy. Although Sakura had been a counsellor only once before, she had thought it would be hard to suppress the memories of running around the camp and checking things over for what she was sure was the hundredth time.

Sakura thought she was fit. She went for long runs in her neighbourhood almost every morning and exercised regularly. Apparently it meant little when confronted with the afternoon heat of Konoha’s infamous summers and that she had to be everywhere at once helping out with whatever was needed. The fact she had just spent a good few hours driving and was already tired when she arrived didn’t help matters at all.

The new Chief Counsellor ran the camp like an army base and expected everyone to follow her orders to a T. It sort of made sense, given the fact that Tsunade-sama was an ex-military doctor and supposedly came from a very decorated family, but Sakura was still surprised by it. Hiruzen-jiji was never quite as intense or demanding, and yet everything always somehow fell into place.

It was also weird not to have him walk around the camp site, smoking his pipe and smiling, and she found herself missing the old man’s easygoing attitude more than she expected.

The good thing about keeping busy was that she didn’t have much time for idle chitchats. Sure, she greeted her old friends with hugs and smiles, and exchanged a few pleasantries with them in-between running amuck from one side of the camp to the other, but they couldn’t grill her about anything, which was honestly a blessing. She was certain it wouldn’t last. Sooner or later they would corner her and demand some answers, but she was willing to enjoy the respite for as long as possible.

Ino was kind enough to fill Sakura in on things she might have missed. She told her about all the counsellors, the schedules, the new activities, and how they managed the first year after Hiruzen-jiji’s sudden death.

It was still weird to see all the changes made to the place that always seemed so constant and unmovable in her mind. Every time she noticed something different, she found herself falling into nostalgia and reminiscing about how it used to be. The changes weren’t bad, of course. Apart from the appalling condition of the counsellors’ quarters, Sakura could safely say that Tsunade-sama did a great job at improving the camp and the woman didn’t seem to be quite done with it yet.

As she made her way to the stables, which were the last place she had to check over that day, she passed by the field that was used for playing games and morning warm-up.

Most of the staff seemed to be there now. She could see some of the guys had ditched their shirts and were playing football while the rest sat on the sidelines, enjoying the sun and what she suspected to be beer. Ino was the first to notice her and waved, yelling something Sakura couldn’t hear from this far away. She waved back and smiled when more people also joined in the waving, as if they hadn’t already seen each other multiple times today. Naruto was, of course, the most enthusiastic participant – he was basically doing jumping jacks instead of waving like a normal person. It resulted in him smacking Sasuke, who had jogged up to stand next to him, on the face with enough force to make the Uchiha stumble. As expected, it sparked an argument between the two, which quickly evolved into a yelling match. Sakura snorted in amusement at the familiarity of it all.

Strangely enough, it made her feel less like an intruder.

With a smile, she went on, pretending she didn’t hear her friends call for her. It wasn’t hard to determine that they wanted her to join them. Still, she had one more thing to do and she didn’t know Tsunade-sama well enough to determine whether or not the woman would be cross with her if she lagged behind on the schedule.

At least that’s what she told herself.

It wasn’t because some part of her felt like she would be a bystander to the camaraderie they had developed over the years she had been gone.

It also wasn’t because she was scared.

Nope.

Not at all.

The stables and the paddock were located away from the cabins and the practice field, and in the opposite direction to the lake and the canteen. She had to walk through a hidden pathway between the thick foliage of trees that separated the camp site from a wide clearing, and over the makeshift bridge built from two wooden planks and suspended over the narrow lazy river that was barely knee-deep after proper rain.

She remembered the first time she walked this path and how it felt as if she was entering a different dimension. This feeling lingered with her now, as she did it again after years of being away. The clearing seemed completely removed from the rest of the camp, as though it has been copied and pasted from somewhere else entirely.

Sakura took in a deep breath, the smell of fresh grass and hay making her smile. She had a sudden urge to lie on the ground in order to soak in as much of the tranquillity of this place as possible. It was a ridiculous idea, but she was on the verge of doing it when she heard barking and noticed four dogs running in her direction.

The logical part of her knew that she shouldn’t be afraid of them. If they were allowed to run free, they were probably friendly and wouldn’t hurt her. At the same time the more irrational part of her brain wanted to turn around and get back to the camp as quickly as her legs would carry her.

Her moment of indecision allowed the dogs to close in on her. They surrounded her, jumping up and barking loudly. Sakura stood in the middle of the commotion, hunched in on herself and covering her face with her arms. She was trying very hard not to panic. She could just imagine what would happen if she started screaming. The last thing she needed was for everyone to think she needed rescuing because of a few overly friendly, but clearly domesticated dogs.

“Urushi! Bisuke! Akino! Shiba! Down!”

The yell startled her a bit. Thankfully, the dogs left her immediately after being called away.

After a few seconds, she tentatively opened her eyes and peeked between her hands to see who had saved her.

She spotted him right away.

To be honest, she had no idea how she had missed him before, but she must have been too in her head to do so. He had been training one of the horses before noticing the commotion as he was now busy securing its lanyard to the nearest post. He kept looking in her direction over his shoulder, probably to make sure the dogs weren’t bothering her again. When he was done, he nimbly jumped over the fence separating the paddock from the clearing and jogged up to her.

“Are you alright? I’m really sorry for that. They get overexcited about meeting new people,” he said in one breath and Sakura nodded shakily, glancing at the dogs which were now sitting in a line and looked for all the world like they were completely innocent.

“That’s good. Tsunade would have killed me if they gave anyone too much trouble. Wasn’t too happy with me for bringing them all, you see.” She could hear the smile in his voice as he said it. However, she couldn’t be sure if he was indeed smiling as the lower part of his face was covered by a mask for some reason. “Once again, I’m very sorry.”

“It’s okay, no harm done,” she said, feeling bad for making him feel bad, no matter how stupid it was. “Also, just to clarify, I’m not afraid of dogs. Or something. Just wasn’t expecting it.”

The man laughed. “Can’t blame you. It’s probably the last thing anyone expects in the middle of the woods.”

Sakura couldn’t help smiling at that and he returned it. He then turned away, walking over to where his dogs were sitting, and squatted down to their level. She put a hand against her mouth to suppress her laughter when she realized that he did it so that he could scold them. Even though he was obviously trying to be quiet, she caught bits and pieces of what he was saying, and it made it even harder not to laugh.

“No way to treat a lady... Should be ashamed of yourself... Proper behaviour my left butt cheek... I’m talking to you too, Shiba!”

For their part, the dogs actually looked like they understood him and appeared properly chided if not downright remorseful. Now that she calmed down a bit and had a chance to really look at them, she could admit they were all really cute, especially when they were all doing the puppy eyes with their ears down. They were also apparently very well-trained if she were to go by how quickly they listened to their master.

Speaking of the man, Sakura swore she knew him from somewhere. There was something awfully familiar about the tuffs of silver-white hair she could see peaking from underneath his baseball cap. Now that she thought about it, she recognized his voice as well, although it was impossible for her to pinpoint where from.

Shame his face was covered by that weird mask and that she couldn’t really see his eyes through the dark lenses of his aviator sunglasses.

“Go, you little idiots,” the man said with a shake of his head as he finally stood up. As Sakura expected, the dogs listened to him without hesitation and they soon disappeared to wherever they came from in the first place.

Hesitating for only a second, Sakura walked over to the man, stopping a short distance away.

“So,” he started. Sakura could feel him looking at her. “What brings you here, miss...?”

“It’s Sakura,” she told him. “And I’m here because Tsunade-sama wanted me to check if everything was ready here for tomorrow.”

The man shook his head. “That woman. Can’t leave anything well enough alone, can she?”

“I think she just wants everything to go off without a hitch.”

He snorted. “Keep telling yourself that.”

“Oh I sure will,” she responded with a smile. “Is there any other way to survive it?”

He burst out laughing at her words. It was a very nice laugh too; rich and deep, and full of unadulterated joy. To be honest, it was actually quite attractive.

She blushed, chiding herself internally for thinking something like that about a complete stranger.

“Ma, I think I’m going to like you, Sakura-chan,” the man told her when he calmed down enough to talk again.

“That’s good, I guess, mister...?”

He looked a bit taken aback by her response. Then he cursed, as if he had just realized something.

“I completely forgot to introduce myself, didn’t I?” He said more than asked. “So sorry. Again. I have no idea what has come over me today. The name’s Hatake Kakashi. Very nice to meet you, Sakura-chan.”

There were times where Sakura felt like smacking herself silly for being an idiot. They didn’t happen very often, but she had had her fair share of such situations in her life.

This was definitely one of those times.

Of course she knew this man. How could she not?

He had been the horse riding instructor the first few years she came to Camp Konoha. It was so obvious now she was kind of ashamed she didn’t recognize him sooner. In her defence, it has been years since she last saw him, and he looked and acted almost completely different than what she remembered.

At least she hoped he was different. He had been the first teacher to ever make her cry and that wasn’t a memory she liked to revisit.

For Kami’s sake, she had actually thought his voice was attractive and thinking about something like that felt so much weirder now! This was beyond embarrassing.

She kept staring at him for a few long seconds before she got her bearing.

When she was finally able to unfreeze, Sakura did the only thing that made sense in that moment: she ran away.

_Day 2_

Even though the first batch of kids was supposed to arrive around 10am at the earliest, Sakura was up before 7.

The girls she shared the cabin with were still sound asleep after staying out late the night before. Sakura would have liked to attribute going to sleep early to being the responsible one in the group, but that was simply not the case.

She was, to put it simply, just a coward.

After the whole disaster with Hatake-sensei, she reported to Tsunade-sama that everything was in order and then hid away in the cabin until it was time for dinner.

Unfortunately for Sakura’s wellbeing and sanity, Ino was way too perceptive and noticed right away that something was wrong.

“Do I wanna know why Kakashi-san is looking at you as if he is either trying to solve the mystery of life itself or doing his best to drill a hole in the back of your head?” She had asked quietly when the rest of their table was too busy talking about something else to pay much attention to them.

Sakura had felt her face heat up. “No idea,” she had said in response with as much confidence as possible while doing her best impersonation of a beetroot.

Ino’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t believe you.”

“That’s your problem, isn’t it?” Sakura had shrugged, going for nonchalant and ending up somewhere around a robot with a seizure.

Thankfully, Ino didn’t have the chance to grill her more about the subject. Sakura escaped back into the cabin shortly afterwards and refused to leave when the others invited her to join them for a bonfire, citing exhaustion as the reason for staying in. Nobody questioned it too much, but Ino kept giving her looks that promised a longer talk sometime in the future.

Sakura made her way over to the communal bathroom and washed quickly before throwing on the mandatory Camp Konoha uniform consisting of a short-sleeved polo short in a relatively inoffensive shade of green and a pair of khaki cargo shorts. When she looked in the mirror to check how she looked, she grimaced at her reflection, but decided it could have been much worse. The shorts were hideous, but at least they had a lot of deep pockets, which was never something to take for granted in women’s clothing.

She returned briefly to the cabin to drop of her things and then stood on the porch for a moment, wondering what to do now.

The camp was eerily quiet this early in the morning.

Sakura was sure most of the staff had been at the bonfire as well and they were trying to sleep off a possible hangover. She smirked. Even if her decision not to go was largely motivated by the desire to avoid any potentially awkward situations, she at least didn’t have to worry about nursing a headache while sheepherding a bunch of hyperactive kids.

Deciding to just stretch her legs for a while, she went in the direction of the lake.

It was one of the places she had yet to visit. She had run pass it multiple times the day before, but she didn’t have time to stop and admire the place.

It looked prettier than she remembered.

The water was still and glimmered softly, reflecting the sun that was just peaking over the trees on the opposite shoreline. The air was wet with dew and clean, and incredibly refreshing.

Sakura took in a deep breath through her nose, held it in for a moment, and then released it through the mouth. She repeated it a few times, feeling calmer and more serene with each exhale; as if she was getting rid of all the anxiety and stress accumulated over the last few weeks. It felt good to finally let it all go.

She hadn’t had time to truly unwind since finishing her final semester at college.

Maybe coming here wasn’t such a bad idea after all. If she had some time to spare to just breathe in and relax, it could actually be good for her, she thought with a smile.

_Day 5_

“Come one, guys! Just a few more minutes! You can do it!” Naruto’s voice was loud and clear as he cheered on their group.

For her part, Sakura felt like she had barely any energy left to walk, let alone yell. Her legs were burning and she was covered in sweat. She wasn’t the only one too. It was easy to see that the kids were pretty tired as well. She suspected they were putting on a brave face, because Naruto promised them ice cream in the nearby town if they could finish the hike without complaining too much.

Working with Naruto was fun and she loved spending so much time with him. She hadn’t had the opportunity to do so in the last few years. He was always a joy to be around, even when he insisted on dragging her through the woods for hours under the pretence of a hike.

“You’re doing great!” Naruto yelled, walking backwards at the front of the group and giving them the thumbs-up. “I say, double portions are in order, ne?”

The kids cheered and Sakura smiled tiredly.

Being back here in the Land of Fire brought back more good memories than Sakura expected. She thought at first it would be harder to get back into the swing of things, but she was doing okay thus far. The kids she was looking after – 12 girls around ten who decided to call themselves Cherries in honour of Sakura’s name and her long pink hair – were all nice and she found herself enjoying her time with them. Yes, she was a bit tired, the heat was getting to her, and avoiding _some people_ was proving to be quite a challenge, but overall, she was having a good time and that was the most important thing.

They made it to the town a few minutes later. The kids seemed to get back some of the energy at the prospect of a treat and raced with Naruto to the ice cream parlour. After everyone got their cones, they sat down outside to eat in the shade of the huge umbrellas.

It was nice, even if she was a sweaty smelly mess at the moment, and the ice cream was pretty great too.

“You okay?” Naruto asked as he squatted in front of her. She was sitting a short distance away from the group at one of the only free tables.

“Could be better, but I’ll live,” she said in response.

Naruto laughed. “Good to know. I wouldn’t want you to quit because of me.”

“Yeah, right. No chance, buddy. I’m made from tougher stuff than you think.”

“You sure are, Sakura-chan.” He said with a smile.

They were quiet for a moment.

“You have been pretty quiet the last few days though. I was a bit worried, not gonna lie.” The look he gave her as he said it was serious. “You know you can talk to me, right? I’m still your friend.”

Sakura blinked at him in surprise. She didn’t expect this from him. Naruto wasn’t usually the one to talk about his feelings and this definitely felt like a prelude to such a discussion.

“Of course you’re my friend,” she assured him. She reached out and bumped his shoulder lightly with a fist. “And I’m fine. I just need time to, you know, get used to all this again.”

“Good,” he responded, smiling at her softly. “For a while there I thought...Well. That was stupid, the thing I thought. I just... I want you to know that I’m still your friend, I guess. No matter what happened with- Well, no matter what, really.”

Hearing him say it alleviated some of her worries. For a long time she had been afraid that what had happened with Sasuke would ruin her friendship with Naruto too.

Apparently, she didn’t have to be.

She returned his smile. “You’re such a sap, but thank you,” she told him and then added, “I really appreciate it.”

He nodded. “No problem.”

Before she had a chance to say something more, Naruto stood up and walked away, yelling at one of the boys to “drop that lizard, you little shit”.

It wasn’t exactly the way they were supposed to talk to the kids, but it was so Naruto that she couldn’t make herself berate him for it.

-

They came back with just enough time to clean up before dinner. Sakura took a quick shower and changed into a fresh uniform while the girls rested for a bit in their cabin. After she was done, she walked them to the canteen which was already full of people.

She stood in line to get her food and grinned when Teuchi-san gave her an extra muffin for dessert.

“Heard from Naruto you had quite a day. You deserve it, kid,” he told her with a smile.

She thanked him and made her way over to the table she usually shared with Ino..

The layout of the canteen could be described as barely organized chaos. The building was big enough to accommodate everyone, with tables of various shapes and sizes places all around the room in a rather haphazard manner. It was lively, loud, and the same as she remembered from her childhood.

“There you are!” Ino said by way of greeting as Sakura placed her tray on the table and sat down. “I honestly thought Naruto kidnapped y’all, you were gone for so long.”

Sakura snorted. “That’s so dramatic.”

“She is right though,” Tenten jumped in with a laugh. “Where _did_ you go?”

“Honestly? No clue,” Sakura informed the group, making everyone laugh. “I was hoping the entire time we wouldn’t get lost. I have never been wherever we ended up before.”

“Nah, dude knows this place like the back of his hand. It’s both impressive and kind of scary,” Kiba, one of the only guys who chose to sit with them, said. “Like, I’m supposed to be the survival guy, right? But Naruto is, like, unreal good at this!”

“He’s very cool,” Hinata added, so quietly that Sakura barely heard her, and then blushed furiously, apparently realizing she had said it out loud.

Fortunately, everyone either ignored her or didn’t hear her, and the discussion turned to a different subject soon enough.

It was no secret to anyone that Hinata fancied Naruto.

Well, no secret to anyone _but_ Naruto himself.

Sakura pitied the girl a little bit. She knew how it felt to pin for someone who showed virtually no interest in you. She sometimes wondered if the reason why Hinata didn’t do anything about her feelings just yet had anything to do with what had happened between Sakura and Sasuke. Truth be told, it was probably the smart things to do. If Sakura could turn back time and undo all the damage her confession had wrought on their friendship, she would have done it in a heartbeat. In the end, being honest with him hadn’t been worth it.

Then again, maybe Hinata knew it already, better than Sakura did back then.

-

Deciding to join the others for the bonfire wasn’t really Sakura’s idea.

“Oh come on, Forehead! You can’t stay here all the time like some sort of a hermit,” Ino had told her as she pushed a picnic blanket and insect repellent into her hands, and then started to drag her outside while Sakura dug her heals in and refused to move an inch.

Ino turned, braced her hands on her hips, and gave Sakura an apprising look. “Seriously, I’m not joking. You can either go on your own or I’ll make one of the guys carry you there. It’s your choice.”

Sakura glared at her friend. “I hate you.”

“Nope, you absolutely love me!” Ino said in a singsong voice before asking, “So, what is it then?”

“I guess I can go,” she muttered after a moment and Ino grinned in triumph. “But! I won’t stay for long.”

“Suit yourself,” her friend responded with a shrug. “Besides, once you’re there, you’ll want to stay.”

To say Sakura was sceptical was an understatement, but there was no point in arguing with Ino.

They made their way through the dark camp, guided by light from Ino’s flashlight and the distant glow of the fire. When they arrived, a small group of people was already there, preparing smores, talking, and drinking.

To Sakura’s relief, Sasuke was nowhere to be found.

To her horror, she could see Hatake-sensei sitting on one of the logs on the other side of the fire listening in on the conversation between Genma, Shino, and Kiba.

She grimaced.

Hopefully he wouldn’t notice her.

Of course the moment she thought about it he turned and his gaze settled on her almost immediately. Even though he was still wearing a mask, she could tell he smiled at her in greeting. He then slowly flexed his fingers in a little wave.

For a second time in as many days, Sakura just stared at him like an idiot. Then – instead of acting like a mature adult and smiling back or doing _something_ to acknowledge his presence in any way – she quickly looked away and sat down next to Hinata.

She greeted the Hyuuga as if nothing was wrong. When the other girl offered her a bottle of non-alcoholic beer, she took it and opened it quickly, taking a long swing. She would have killed for a shot right now. Sad drinking was never a good idea, but this called for something stronger for sure.

Kami, she was such a bloody idiot. She was sure Hatake-sensei thought she hated him by now, given her abhorrent behaviour, and it wasn’t true.

Yes, she used to dislike the man a lot when she was younger. He had been mean, dismissive, and he had made her cry this one time – and not just simply _cry_ , but rather burst into loud ugly sobs – and she hasn’t quite forgiven him for that yet. At the same time he seemed very different now. For one, he was definitely much nicer. Not that her memories painted him in a good enough light to make an accurate comparison.

Besides, people could change. She wasn’t the same person she had been even a year ago, so he could have changed during the last couple of years.

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye.

Taking a closer look, she realized that he looked a bit different too. His hair was shorter than she remembered and cut neatly into a style that seemed quite fashionable. It was still the same unique shade of silver-white and very messy though.

The biggest difference was probably his left eye. Without the sunglasses, Sakura could clearly see the jagged scar running over it, its colour and shape even more prominent with the warm glow of the fire casting deep shadows on his face. She had also spotted the colour distortion in his iris and how bloodshot the eye looked compared to the other one. She was curious what happened to him – both as a future doctor and because she was simply a bit nosy.

What could cause such an injury? What type of wound would end up giving him such a scar?

Whatever her imagination could come up with was probably far from the truth, but it made her almost want to ask around. Not that she would or could, really. The absolute last thing she needed was for him to find out she was nosy on top of being rude.

She couldn’t recall if he had worn a mask before. If he hadn’t, she had trouble remembering what his face looked like without it. Still, it was fairly easy to guess he was probably quite handsome.

He did have a pretty nice jaw line too.

She quickly looked away. If it wasn’t for the fire, everyone would have been able to see how red her face has gotten.

She really was an idiot, wasn’t she? This was the kind of thinking that got her in trouble with Sasuke in the first place. Why was she doing it again? Didn’t she know better by now?

She found herself stealing another look either way.

Okay. So he was probably, maybe, kind of, a nice looking guy.

There was no reason why she had to be all weird about it. There were a lot of nice looking guys around. It wasn’t as if he was the only one. Also, the fact she might possibly find him a little bit attractive didn’t have to mean anything. She found a lot of people attractive. No big deal.

She kept telling herself that until it was time to go.

And if she fell asleep still thinking about him, nobody had to know, right?


	2. Week 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I think it's safe to say updates won't happen once a week. I think I got a bit too excited and forgot how much time it takes to edit my writing, especially when it's this long. And that I'm actually a serial procrastinator. Oh well. Lesson learnt, I guess :P
> 
> As per usual, please let me know if you liked the chapter. I always look forward to your comments! :)

_Day 9_

Having time to herself after spending a week sharing almost every minute of every day with other people should have been a truly blissful experience.

Sakura liked going out, she enjoyed talking to people and she was, overall, a social creature through and through. Back in Suna, she spent almost all of her free time with her friends. They had a long-standing tradition of going out for drinks on the first Friday of every month and they organized karaoke nights basically every chance they got. Her roommate, Temari, also took her clubbing sometimes and they usually had a lot of fun dancing the night away.

To put it simply, Sakura grew up surrounded by friends and never felt like it was too much. It has always been just enough. Now that she thought about it, she knew she might have gotten into a habit of spending time with the same people over and over again. Their group of friends hasn’t changed much since high school, so she never really had the opportunity to get out of her comfort zone and meet anyone new.

Being at camp shouldn’t have been that different. After all, she knew everyone here almost as well as her friends in Suna.

Well, at least she _used to_ know them.

Maybe that was the issue here. She wasn’t necessarily overwhelmed with the amount of time she spent with others, but rather the company itself. Even though she was still very close with Ino and Naruto, and she stayed in touch with Shikamaru, Hinata, Tenten, and Rock Lee, it wasn’t the same. Sometimes she felt alienated, as if she wasn’t part of the group anymore; as if she didn’t quite belong. It hurt to realize that she was somewhat responsible for creating this gap in the first place. Her desire to be with Sasuke strained or even destroyed the friendships she had cultivated for years. And although she had done a lot to repair them, it still wasn’t quite enough.

Sakura sighed and sat up. She looked around the empty cabin, grimacing at the mess the other girls left behind when they were getting ready. Not that Sakura’s corner was much cleaner, to be completely honest. They had to do something about it and soon, and Sakura wasn’t looking forward to it at all. To be fair, she could have used her morning off to tidy things up, but instead she had been spending it in bed, reminiscing about all the things that went wrong in the last couple of years.

With a groan, she fell down on the bed. The old springs echoed the sentiment, emitting its own little grunt of protest at the abuse.

She wondered again why she decided to stay in instead of doing literally anything else. There were so many other things to do at camp that didn’t involve falling down the rabbit hole of bad memories! Sleeping in was certainly nice, but being cooped up inside gave her way too much time to overthink the shit out of everything and that surely wasn’t healthy.

“I have to get out,” she muttered to herself.

If she stayed here a moment longer, she was sure she was going to go crazy or start crying, and neither option sounded particularly appealing.

Mind made up, she quickly changed into some running clothes she had packed just in case and threw on a pair of snickers. Then she put her hair up, grabbed her phone and earphones, and headed out.

It was still quite early. Normally at this time she would have been doing the morning warm up with Cherries at the practice field before taking them to have a shower and then to the canteen for breakfast. She could see them now, doing jumping jacks with Tenten, and smiled. They were really good kids, even if they got a bit rowdy at times.

Somehow she managed to avoid being seen by sneaking around the nearby buildings. Not her proudest moment, but she was officially out of fucks to give when it came to preserving dignity. After acting the way she had been for the last couple of days she was sure she had already established her reputation as being undeniably weird as hell and she was, strangely enough, okay with it.

She continued walking, enjoying the music from her favourite playlist and the scenery. It took a while, but she eventually found the old running track. Technically it wasn’t actually a track, but rather a beaten path through the woods that ran around the perimeter of the lake and span the distance of around 15 kilometres. From what she knew, only Rock Lee used it regularly for his insane run challenges. He was actually the one who had showed it to her a few years back and she was really glad it was still here after all this time. Because it was so rarely used and by so few people at that, she was relatively sure she wouldn’t bump into anyone, which was exactly what she was looking for – some peace and quiet to give her mind a much-needed break.

The forest looked magical.

The pale sunlight filtering through the foliage made the colours appear more vibrant in comparison and exaggerated the shadows cast by the trees. The air was thick with heat and stuck to her skin like a second layer, covering it with perspiration. On any other day she would have probably decided to just take a walk, given how hot it was, but with the occasional gust of wind, the temperature was bearable and she was able to ignore discomfort of it for the most part.

In fact, it actually felt great. Strangely invigorating, even.

She pushed through the burning in her lungs and legs, and ran just a bit faster, feeling the sweat dampen her hairline and slide down her face.

For as long as she could remember, jogging has been her escape. She didn’t necessarily like it, but it gave her an outlet and a way of escaping the outside world. She could forget about everything else, focusing only on the beat of the music, her breathing, and putting one foot in front of the other. It never failed to make her feel better in the end. Even if she was about ready to cough out a lung afterwards, she came back home much happier. People could say whatever they wanted, but there was certainly a therapeutic quality to running and Sakura was the living proof it worked.

She stumbled on the uneven terrain. Fortunately, she managed to catch herself just in time to avoid falling. Bracing her hands on her knees and breathing rapidly, she looked up and around. Her eyes widened when she realized she was already on the other side of the lake. She had no idea how she had gotten here so fast.

When she managed to catch her breath, she straightened and slowly walked down to the shoreline. From where she was standing just a few steps away from the glimmering shoreline, she could see the camp. It looked so small from this far away.

“Wow,” she whispered.

After a moment of just staring ahead at the view, she turned off the music and closed her eyes. All she could hear was the sound of her own breathing, the beat of her own heart echoing in her ears, the water lapping at the sandy shore, the swishing of leaves, and the chirping of birds from somewhere in the distance. It was very calming. She has gotten so used to living in the city that she forgot how relaxing it could be to just exist in the middle of nowhere.

Konoha was so different in comparison to Suna. Although Sakura was certain the capital city of the Land of Fire was indeed a very busy place, when she thought about it, she imagined it to be also incredibly green and beautiful, just like the forest she was in now. Sakura grew up in the desert, surrounded by sand and cacti. There was nothing wrong with that, of course, and she really liked living in Suna, but she had also always loved the climate in Konoha a bit more.

The sound of footsteps made her jump.

She turned around just in time to see Hatake-sensei come around the corner with two of his dogs strapped to his waist on a leash. He stopped when he noticed her and the two of them stared at each other for a few seconds, both seemingly unsure what to do next.

He looked just as tired as she felt. Sakura noted that the light grey t-shirt he was wearing was stuck to his skin and soaked through, leaving very little to the imagination.

Not that Sakura _ever_ imagined Hatake-sensei without a shirt.

Because she most definitely _did not_.

She was just appreciating the pecks and six pack on display.

Very innocently.

That’s all.

 _Oh Kami, why am I like this?!_ She thought with dismay, her cheeks turning redder and redder by the second.

“Hi there,” Hatake-sensei was the first to speak and his eyes creased as he smiled at her. “How’re you doing?”

“Good,” she responded and immediately cringed at herself. _Good? Seriously? That’s the best you can do, Haruno?_

“Morning run, huh?” He asked.

Sakura nodded slowly. “You too?”

“Yeah. I mean, yes. Yes, me too.”

“That’s, um, nice?” Sakura wasn’t sure why she was posing it like a question. It sounded so stupid. To be honest, this whole conversation – if it even qualified as such – was stupid and awkward, and so horribly tense. Talking to somebody really shouldn’t have been this hard. It made her want to dig a hole just so she could bury herself in it and avoid further embarrassment.

“It is. The dogs like it too,” he informed her. “They need to exercise or they go a bit stir-crazy, you know?”

All Sakura could do in response was nod. She was honestly afraid what would come out of her mouth next if she spoke.

Hatake-sensei seemed to hesitate for a moment as the silence stretched between them. Sakura could feel him looking at her, then at the path, and then back at her. He must have reached some sort of a conclusion, because he decided to walk over to her, pulling the dogs away and to his other side as if remembering that she had been spooked by them before.

They looked over the lake together in complete silence for a while. It wasn’t a comfortable type of silence, but rather the one that made you fidgety and nervous. Sakura wondered if it was only her who felt this way. From what she could see when she glanced his way, Hatake-sensei didn’t seem bothered by it at all. She envied him this laid back attitude. If she could at least _look_ less stressed, her life would have been so much easier.

Finally, after what felt like forever, he cleared his throat, making Sakura turn slightly to look at him.

“So,” he started, his eyes locked somewhere in the distance. ”It was pointed out to me that I should probably apologize to you. Again.”

“’Pointed out’? By whom?” She asked feeling a bit confused.

“Well, um, I asked Naruto, actually,” he admitted after a moment.

Sakura blinked. “What?”

“You wouldn’t talk to me,” he said with a shrug, his tone tad bit defensive.”Went as far as to avoid me, in fact. I wanted to know why.”

“I wasn’t _avoiding_ you...” Sakura mumbled in response, once again feeling bad for acting so childishly.

He ignored her and continued, “Naruto explained some things and it made sense, you know. Why you wouldn’t want to talk. Either way, all I want to say is that I’m really sorry.”

There was a beat of silence.

“What for?” Sakura asked, still a bit confused.

Hatake-sensei levelled her with a look. She was sure he would drop the subject when he remained silent for a pretty long time and just kept looking at her without making any move to speak again.

“I remember this one summer I was teaching a group how to do jumps,” he told her quietly, rising one eyebrow as if to see whether or not she would say something to interrupt him.

She didn’t.

”There was this one girl who was really scared. She didn’t want to do it. Kept saying she was afraid of falling. I didn’t listen. Instead I forced her to jump with the rest of the group and she fell. She didn’t cry, even though it must have hurt. However, I was so angry that she wasn’t following my instructions that I lost whatever patience I had left at this point and yelled at her. She did cry then, of course. I should have probably apologized right away.” He shook his head and sighed. “I think I was kind of an idiot back then, don’t you?”

Truthfully, Sakura wanted to agree.

Yes, she had thought him to be an idiot, to put it mildly. There was actually a time when she actively hated him for embarrassing her in front of her friends and making her feel like a complete loser. Oh how she had wanted to yell back at him and call him every bad name she had known!

The memory of it was one of the main reasons why she stopped taking horse riding lessons, even though Hatake-sensei wasn’t teaching the following year and Yamato-san seemed so much nicer.

She was surprised Hatake-sensei cared enough to apologize for this. She honestly didn’t expect him to bother.

“I, um, I’m...” Sakura took a deep breath. “Thank you. That’s very nice of you, Hatake-sensei.”

“Just Kakashi is fine,” he said with a wince and then added, “So you forgive me?”

“There’s nothing to forgive, really. And it happened so long ago... I honestly don’t hold it against you anymore, Hat-Kakashi-san,” she told him, correcting herself at the last moment. Saying his name so casually felt _weird_.

“I’m sorry all the same, Sakura-chan.” He smiled. “And please, just Kakashi is completely fine, I swear. Grey hair notwithstanding, I’m not _that_ old.”

Sakura couldn’t help but snort. “Alright, _just Kakashi_. Apology accepted.”

_Day 11_

The days were starting to blur together. It was an inevitable part of camp.

Sakura was learning to appreciate the routine of each day more and more as the time went by, and she was definitely enjoying herself more as of late. Clearing the air with Kakashi was probably one of the reasons why, if she was being completely honest.

She didn’t realize how exhausting it had been to avoid him until she wasn’t doing it anymore. Getting to know him was also a nice change of pace. Even though they didn’t talk much, as they were both quite busy, she was still discovering bits and pieces about him almost every day. He had a good sense of humour, even if it was rather self-deprecating, and he seemed to be overall a very chill guy who knew how to listen to people.

It was easy to see why people liked him.

“Earth to Sakura-chan!” Naruto shouted directly into Sakura’s ear, making her wince.

“For the love of-! Naruto!” She shouted back and tried to smack him, but he was able to dance away before she could touch him. “Why would you do that?!”

Naruto shrugged. “You zoned out on us.”

“And you thought that the best way to get my attention would be to make me go deaf?” She asked, feeling her temper rise when he just nodded as if it was the most obvious thing to do. “I swear one of these days I’ll seriously just murder you and nobody will be able to find your body.”

“Promises, promises,” Naruto said with a grin. “You have been threatening me with death for so long it kinda stopped being scary.”

Sakura huffed. “Doesn’t mean I won’t do it _someday_.”

“She’s right, Naruto,” Tenten snickered. She was sitting next to Ino and Sakura, and apparently found this whole situation incredibly amusing. “You can never be _too_ sure.”

Naruto only laughed in response, carefree and completely unbothered.

Since Sakura was an adult who knew how to control herself, she sprang up and chased after her friend. She wasn’t entirely sure what she would do once she caught him, but that was completely beside the point. Naruto didn’t seem fazed by the fact that she was trying to make good on her promise and instead forced her to run after him around the clearing, taunting her every so often. He was much taller than her and was significantly faster, but Sakura’s determination knew no bounds – she was more stubborn than a mule – and she was craftier than Naruto could ever hope to be, so after a while she actually managed to get him.

“Ha!” She yelled in triumph as she body-tackled him. They both fell in the grass whizzing for air, because they were laughing so hard.

“You two are crazy!” Ino informed them, but she was visibly shaking from laughter as well.

Sakura rolled off Naruto and looked up into the clear blue sky. Her face hurt from smiling and laughing so much. It was a surprisingly nice kind of pain.

She stayed on the ground for a few more minutes, simply soaking in the heat. The day wasn’t actually too hot, so she was able to stay in the sun without risking her health. The gentle wind made the whole experience even more enjoyable.

They were technically supposed to be looking after their campers, but the kids were behaving so far and didn’t need much supervision. Sakura’s group was busy with the horse riding lesson, while Ino’s and Tenten’s were getting first aid training from the camp nurse, Shizune-san. Naruto had the afternoon off, so his group was with someone else for the time being. He had decided to join them on a whim, claiming he didn’t have anything else to do, which probably wasn’t true. Knowing Naruto, he was most likely avoiding some other responsibility. Not that it was very surprising. Naruto was, well, _Naruto_. He wouldn’t be himself if he wasn’t a bit reckless with a sprinkle of immature, case in point being his apparent death wish.

“Told you I would get you,” she said, turning her head so she could look at him.

“Oh you definitely did,” Naruto told her, breathing out a soft laugh. “Gosh, I kinda forgot how feral you are!”

“Serves you right.”

“Yeah, I guess,” he said as he sat up. He glanced at her over his shoulder. “You seem a bit happier.”

Sakura sat up as well and raised an eyebrow in question at the impromptu statement.

“It’s a good thing,” Naruto explained. “Like I told you before, I was a bit worried. Now I don’t think I have to worry as much, you know?”

She shook her head. “You didn’t have to be. You still don’t. Like I said, I just needed time.”

“I know you, Sakura-chan,” he said next with a deep sigh. “And I also know time won’t change some things for you. Sometimes you just have to solider up and act or things will stay the same forever.”

No matter how much she would have liked to disagree, it was a fair statement, she realized.

Naruto _did_ know her very well, sometimes almost better than she knew herself. He was also undeniably right. Time did nothing but made her hold onto anger just a bit tighter, turning her away from moving forward and instead forcing her to stay put.

“No promises, but I’ll try, okay?” She whispered quietly as she looked away, her eyes locking on Kakashi’s back for a moment.

Naruto wrapped on arm around her shoulders, pulling her into a hug. “Okay,” he said. “As long as it will make you happy. That’s all I want.”

Sakura smiled and placed her head against his shoulder, feeling tears gathered in the corners of her eyes.

“Yeah, I know. Thank you, Naruto.”

_Day 13_

On Saturday the weather took a turn for the worse, though the change was a welcomed one. It started with a slight drizzle around dawn that steadily progressed into a proper storm in the early afternoon. Because of the unexpected rain, all activities that should have taken place outdoors were cancelled, forcing campers and counsellors alike to stay inside.

With nothing better to do but wait out the rain, Sakura spend most of the day catching up on some reading in her bed and taking notes as the book she picked was actually one of the anatomy textbooks for her upcoming classes at university.

“This sucks so much,” Ino grumbled from where she was sprawled on her own bed. “I actually had _plans_ for today.”

Sakura hummed in lieu of a response.

Her friend sighed dramatically. “Fingers crossed it stops soon. I don’t want to cancel...”

Sakura remained silent. She was actually quite happy with the weather. The last few days had been almost unbearably hot, so she was looking forward to a brief respite from the oppressive heat.

The pitter-patter of raindrops hitting the roof and the swishing of the wind were also quite soothing.

She could swear she had only closed her eyes for just a moment, to bask in the relaxing rhythm of the rain, but when she opened them again, the sun was already streaming in through the windows and there was no storm in sight.

For a moment she was confused. Then she realized she must have fallen asleep while reading, which didn’t happen to her often. A quick glance at her wrist watch confirmed that suspicion – she had slept for over an hour!

With a grunt she pushed herself into a sitting position, wincing at the pain in her neck and the pins and needles sensation in her right leg. That’s what she got for sleeping in such a random position, half sitting and half lying down. All things considered, it was a miracle she hadn’t wrinkled or dropped the book. The notes she had taken were also completely intact, no smudges to be seen.

She carefully closed the textbook and put it away in her suitcase, along with the pen that got lost in her blanket, before getting up and stretching. Her back gave a loud pop in protest. She then went over to the sink and splashed some water on her face. When she glanced at her reflection, she snorted. Her hair has partially escaped the braid and now strongly resembled a bird’s nest. She also had an indent on her cheek from the pillow.

With a sigh of resignation, she let down her hair and brushed it through with her fingers before braiding it once again. When that was done, she changed into a clean shirt, put on her shoes and went outside.

It was much colder than she expected, but it wasn’t unpleasant. In fact, it felt very refreshing. The air smelled of wet grass and ozone, and each lung full of it made her smile.

She wondered briefly where everyone was. Considering the time, they were probably at the canteen enjoying lunch. Sakura thought about joining them, but she wasn’t really hungry just yet, so she decided to take a walk instead.

With no particular route in mind, she started simply wandering around the empty camp.

Everything was still very wet from the rain. When the wind blew a bit more, some stray drops would fall down from the leaves and splash against the rooftops or land in the puddles with a quiet plop. A few rolled down her bare arms and neck, making her shudder, because they were so cold, or soaked right into her hair. The ground was rather slippery and she almost fell on her butt a few times. Still, it was nice. She could finally breathe in and not feel as if she was expending energy by doing it. There was certainly something to be said about the prevailing heaviness and stickiness of Konoha’s air.

She walked around aimlessly for what felt like a very long time, but in the end her stroll lead her to the stables.

By this point her shoes were almost completely soaked through, she was shaking a bit from the cold, and there was mud caked all over her calves. She was pondering whether or not she should return to the cabin to at least get a jacket, when she heard quiet barking and then noticed something small running across the clearing in her general direction. As she was no longer scared of Kakashi’s pack, she squatted and waited for the dog to reach her. It was the smallest one, a cute chubby pug that usually slept in the hay pile when Sakura dropped by the stables with her group.

“Hi there,” she cooed, extending one of her hands for the animal to sniff. The pug did so and then jumped up, bracing his front legs against Sakura’s knees. She started to gently scratch him behind the ears and he huffed in obvious contentment.

“You’re too cute,” she informed him. “Way, _way_ too cute.”

“He definitely is, the little charmer.”

Sakura looked up and smiled. “Hey Kakashi.”

“Hello Sakura,” he said in response, his eyes creasing adorably as per usual when he smiled in return. “Didn’t expect to see you here. Aren’t you supposed to be at lunch with everyone else?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” she told him.

Kakashi snorted quietly. “For your information I was just about to go there when Pakkun ran away to say hello to you.”

“Is that so, Pakkun?” Sakura addressed the dog. “Are you keeping your master from getting lunch?”

Pakkun barked once, dropped to the ground with his belly up, and the barked again. He then turned his head to look at Sakura, his tongue lolling out of his mouth as he panted happily.

She couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh he’s _definitely_ a charmer!” She declared as she patted Pakkun on the belly a few times before standing up.

“Yeah, he enjoys the attention a lot,” Kakashi told her as he bent down to pick the pug up.

They looked at each other for a moment, neither saying a word.

Kakashi cleared his throat. “I’ll just drop him off at my cabin and then I can walk you to the canteen? If you want?”

Sakura could feel herself blush a little as she nodded.

“Okay. Be back in a second then.”And with that he quickly walked away, soon disappearing from sight. Sakura had no idea he had his own cabin, much less that it was apparently located right behind the stables.

When he came back a moment later, she immediately noticed that he was caring something in his hands. It turned out to be a navy blue hoodie.

“You looked a bit cold,” he explained, offering it to her. “Would be a shame if you got sick or something.”

“Being cold doesn’t actually make you sick,” she informed him, but she still put the hoodie on. It was soft and warm. It was also very big on her and completely swallowed up her frame, hanging off her shoulders like a dress.

Kakashi shrugged. “It still doesn’t mean you have to freeze.”

“True,” she admitted with a smile. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

They spent most of the trip to the canteen in companionable silence. Sakura took a few discreet sniffs of the hoodie when she was certain Kakashi wasn’t looking. She realized he must have worn it before, because it seemed to carry a faint trace of his scent mixed in with the fragrance of whatever detergent he used. The combination was really nice.

When they arrived, the building was almost empty. Apparently most people have already eaten. They got their food from Teuchi-san and sat down to eat together.

“I think I was hungrier than I realized,” Sakura said after practically inhaling her bowl of ramen.

“Mhm,” Kakashi hummed in agreement.

“How are the horses by the way? That was quite a storm...”

“Keeping them calm wasn’t the easiest. Some of them get spooked easily. I actually had to sit with Gamakichi through it all. He is really scared of thunder,” Kakashi explained. ”He is one of the biggest stallions we own, but he’s also just a big baby.”

Sakura giggled. “He sounds fun.”

“Yeah. So much _fun_.” Kakashi rolled his eyes. “Riding him is even more entertaining, believe it or not. He almost threw me off the other day, because a leaf flew in front of him. A _leaf_. I honestly have no idea why he’s so skittish.”

“Wow! Are you okay?”

“Fine. I didn’t actually fall. Had to hold on for dear life to avoid it though.” She laughed at his words. “What about you? Any riding misadventures you want to share?”

Sakura shrugged. “I don’t have any.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” she said. “I don’t actually ride anymore.”

Kakashi looked at her quietly for a moment before asking, “Did you get back to it after you fell?”

She slowly shook her head. “No. I was too scared to try it again.”

Kakashi sighed. “I bet having me yell at you right after didn’t help either.”

Even though Sakura wanted to say no, she couldn’t, because what he said was true. It hadn’t helped at all.

“It’s not your fault,” she finally settled on saying.

“It kind of is, though,” he responded. “I was a shitty teacher back then. To be honest, I’m not much better now either.”

“Why do you teach then? If you think you’re not good at it?” She asked after a moment.

“Honestly? No idea.”

There was something in his tone of voice that made Sakura believe him.

All of a sudden he sounded tired and older than he probably was. In this moment he seemed weary, as if the life he was living exhausted him and he only now realized it himself. It was curious how asking such an innocent question could reveal so much about a person.

Obviously she wasn’t the best person to reassure him. Even if she was though, she didn’t necessarily think it was the right thing to do. If he was truly unhappy with his profession, offering words of comfort and encouragement to persist could potentially invalidate his feelings. Teaching wasn’t an easy thing to do and maybe he was indeed ill-suited for it. She believed he must have gotten better at it as she hasn’t heard about him making anybody cry – in fact her own group, Cherries, seemed to really enjoy their lessons – but maybe better wasn’t good enough for him.

She had a feeling there was something more to it; something she could discover in due time if he let her.

-

“This was a _horrible_ idea,” Sakura said as she slowly walked over to one of the stalls in the stables.

Kakashi, who was already inside, just laughed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Sakura. You’re gonna be fine.”

To say she didn’t believe him one bit was an understatement. Her eyes narrowed.

“You’re only saying that to make me feel better, aren’t you?” She accused him.

“Is it working though?” He asked, smiling at her over his shoulder.

Of course it was.

His smile, honest laugh, and teasing attitude put her at ease. It probably had a lot to do with the fact she found them all remarkably attractive.

Not that he needed to know.

“If I end up falling again, you’re not allowed to tell anyone about it.”

“You won’t fall,” Kakashi reassured her again. He had been doing that from the moment she had reluctantly agreed to try learning how to ride back in the canteen. She still had no idea why she said yes. “You’ll be on the lanyard the entire time and we won’t do anything more than the very basics until you’re ready. Also, Katsuyu is probably the calmest mare we have. She won’t let you fall either.”

As if to prove the point, Kakashi patted the mare on the neck before moving his hand in a swooping motion down and into her side.

“See? Cool as a cucumber.”

The horse was indeed almost serene. She turned her head to glance at Sakura as she entered the stall, but otherwise gave no indication of being particularly bothered by two people standing very close to her. She kept munching on hay as if nothing was amiss.

Hesitantly Sakura reached out and placed her hand next to Kakashi’s. When Katsuyu didn’t react, she petted her gently. The mare’s snow white flank was incredibly soft and smooth to the touch.

“Is she one of yours?” Sakura asked quietly.

“Tsunade’s, actually.”

Sakura’s eyes widened in shock. “I didn’t know Tsunade-same could ride.”

“Not many people do,” was Kakashi’s only comment on the subject and she didn’t feel like it was the time or place to pry.

He waited for her to relax a bit before he started explaining how to prepare the horse for a ride. He seemed to have indeed gotten better at teaching. With patience and calmness she didn’t expect, he showed her how the saddle was built, where it was supposed to sit on the horse’s back, and how to properly secure it. Sakura could remember some parts better than others. She was thankful he went into so much detail and wasn’t expecting her to contribute much or really know this stuff just because she had learnt it at some point in the past.

When he was done speaking, he guided her slowly through saddling Katsuyu, correcting her if she did something wrong and helping when she struggled to put the bridle on. Apparently most horses hated it and got fussy when someone didn’t know how to do it quickly and efficiently.

“The trick is to convince her to do most of the work for you. Then you put the thing on as fast as you can before she spits it,” he said as he placed the mare’s head on his shoulder and pressed one of his hands firmly against her jaw, forcing her to open her mouth. He then put the bridle on in one smooth motion before securing the straps. “You’ll get the hang of it eventually.”

Sakura highly doubted that. To her it looked like some advanced magic trick rather than something a regular human being could learn how to do.

“Ready to lead her out?” Kakashi asked, holding the reins out to her.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” she joked, but took them.

It wasn’t actually that hard. Once the mare realized she was going out, she was very eager to follow Sakura and trotted after her without much prompting. They both followed Kakashi to the paddock and stopped next to him, a short distance away from the fence.

“Alright. Mounting.” Kakashi came closer and lifted one side of the saddle to fiddle with the stirrup strap, loosening it a bit. “I think it’s better to learn how to do it without the steps. You can start with them if you prefer, but maybe try giving this a go first?”

Sakura eyed the stirrup sceptically. Maybe mounting Katsuyu from the ground didn’t seem hard for someone with as much experience as Kakashi clearly had, but it was definitely a daunting prospect for her. Even though the mare wasn’t by far the tallest horse, she still towered over Sakura and was just about even in height with Kakashi.

“I can try?” She asked more than said rather tentatively.

Kakashi nodded and then showed her where and how to hold the saddle before presenting how to mount properly. He made it look unfairly easy.

He dismounted and moved to the side. “Your turn.”

Following his instructions, she firmly gripped the saddle on the front and back while placing her foot in the stirrup. She took a deep breath and then sprung up, trying to mimic Kakashi’s effortless grace. Of course it didn’t end up working as well for her. She felt herself slipping and panicked. Before she let go completely and allowed the gravity to take her, Kakashi caught her. With his strong warm hands holding her waist, he hoisted her up and onto Katsuyu in one smooth motion, acting as if she weighted nothing.

For a moment Sakura just sat in the saddle, struck speechless. Kakashi’s hands lingered on her sides a minute or so longer before sliding down to her thigh and then off her completely.

She shuddered, not expecting such an intimate gesture or for it to affect her so much.

“Okay?” He asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she responded, although her heart was still beating furiously in her chest. She had no idea if it was because of the near fall or the swift rescue.

Embarrassingly enough, she swore she could still feel his fingers and palms pressing against her skin. The thought made her blush.

Thankfully Kakashi didn’t seem to notice her flustered state. He showed her how to properly adjust the length of the stirrup straps to fit her legs and then instructed her to hold onto the front of the saddle while he secured the lanyard to Katsuyu’s bridle.

They started the lesson with a simple trot. Then Kakashi told her how to bring the horse to a canter and how to control the movement, correcting her form along the way. Although she had done it before, it felt foreign and was actually quite difficult to do.

She must have been really messing it up, because after a few verbal corrections that did little to help Kakashi brought Katsuyu to a stop and came over.

“Can I?” He asked, raising his arms.

Sakura nodded her consent.

“You need to move a bit more. See?” He said as he slowly placed his hands against her hips, barely touching her at all, and encouraged her to move back and forth. “Yes, that’s much better. If you do it too slow, you’ll end up going in the opposite direction, sort of against the flow, and it will tire out the horse.”

Sakura mumbled something in agreement.

Her thoughts were completely scattered and she wouldn’t have been able to formulate a coherent sentence even if she tried. His touch was way too distracting.

This was also definitely not the time to think about how attractive Kakashi was.

Nope.

It _so_ wasn’t the time for that.

She couldn’t help it though. With his hands touching her so intimately, it was basically impossible not to. His grip was gentle, but shearing, and Sakura suspected she would be thinking about it for the rest of the day at the very least.

“Alright, let’s try it again,” Kakashi said as he finally let her go and stepped back.

When the mare was moving again, Sakura tried to thrust her hips to the rhythm of the canter. It felt weird to do it while Kakashi watched her – like something strangely sensual and personal that shouldn’t be put on display in such a way.

“Good job, Sakura,” Kakashi complimented her with a smile, making her blush even harder than she was already.

It was truly a tortuous experience.

While Sakura had been aware of her attraction to Kakashi, she didn’t know she was already in so deep. This was actually pretty awkward too. They were just starting to know each other. Besides that he used to be her teacher and there was something very uncomfortable about being so viscerally attracted to your teacher, even if he wasn’t probably that much older than her or even wasn’t technically her teacher any longer, never mind their current predicament.

Finally after what felt like forever the lesson ended.

However, what Sakura didn’t anticipate was the fact that she now had to get off the horse somehow and just jumping down didn’t seem to be a plausible option for her.

“Come on,” Kakashi encouraged her softly. “Place your hands on my shoulders, it’ll help.”

Sakura did as she was told.

Her hands were very sweaty and shook a bit, but she was able to brace them against his shoulders and then slide off the saddle. He caught her and eased her down, but didn’t let go.

When he had assisted her previously, the intimacy wasn’t so palpable. This time they were face to face and the tension it created was unreal; as if the very air between them was charged with energy. They were suspended in the moment, holding onto each other with neither seemingly ready to move away.

Up this close Sakura could see the blown iris of his healthy eye and feel his breath against her mouth. She hadn’t noticed it before, but his good eye was actually dark grey and not completely black as she previously thought. The colour was really pretty.

She traced the contour of his scar with her gaze, memorizing the way it cut cleanly through his left eyebrow and pulled slightly at his lids. The line of his lashes wasn’t even, but they were still thick and curled up a bit.

Her hands slowly moved to the back of his neck, her fingers just about brushing the fine hairs at his nape. She could feel him shiver when she moved them in a gentle caress. His own arms were wrapped around her waist, holding her tightly against his chest. It was and wasn’t a hug all at once, and Sakura couldn’t understand why it felt so electrifying to be held by him like that. She was sure he didn’t mean for it to become so intimate and yet it somehow did regardless, completely out of anyone’s control.

For a moment they clearly tittered on the edge of _something_ , although Sakura didn’t really know what exactly.

Kakashi was the first to get his bearing. “Oh, sorry,” he whispered as he gently lowered her to the ground.

“Thank you,” she said back just as quietly. Her whole face was burning with a fierce blush.

There was a second when she was sure he would say something more, but he remained silent. He just took Katsuyu’s reins and led her back to the stables.

Sakura followed close behind, wondering once again what the hell just happened and why.

**Author's Note:**

> Good news is the story is mostly written and I have too much time to spare. I’m aiming for one chapter per week – you can check for posting updates on my Tumblr (lossie92).


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